You know that gnawing feeling in your chest when you scroll through Instagram at 11 PM and suddenly everyone your age seems to have their life together?
Last Tuesday, I found myself in the cereal aisle of Target, staring at a box of Lucky Charms like it held the secrets to the universe. Not because I was particularly hungry, but because I’d just gotten off a FaceTime call with my college roommate who casually mentioned buying her second rental property. Her second one. The whole interaction left me with that familiar, uncomfortable question: Am I behind?
If you’ve ever felt this way—like you’re running a race where everyone else got a head start and you’re not even sure where the finish line is.
The Myth of the Universal Timeline
Here’s the thing nobody talks about: the idea that there’s a “right” timeline for life is completely made up. Marriage, babies and a mortgage are not requirements for living a full and happy life. These society-imposed goals and timelines are a social construct—and yet we’ve somehow convinced ourselves they’re as natural as breathing.
Think about it. Who decided that you need to have your dream job by 25, be married by 30, and own property by 35? Was there some cosmic meeting where the universe’s event planners got together and said, “Okay, everyone, here’s the schedule”? Because if there was, I definitely didn’t get the memo.
The truth is, these arbitrary deadlines often have more to do with outdated societal expectations than with what actually makes for a fulfilling life. Many women feel pressured to have it all — stable career, financial independence, marriage, and a child — before turning 30, as if there’s some magical expiration date on happiness and success.
But here’s what I’ve learned from my Target cereal aisle epiphany: feeling “behind” isn’t actually about being late to anything. It’s about measuring yourself against a ruler that was never meant for you in the first place.
The Comparison Trap (And Why Social Media Makes It Worse)
Social media amplifies the illusion, showing curated snapshots of engagements, weddings, and pregnancies as if they’re universal markers of success. But here’s what those perfectly filtered posts don’t show: the messy, complicated, beautifully imperfect reality behind them.
Your college friend’s engagement announcement doesn’t show the three years of couple’s therapy that got them there. That promotion celebration post doesn’t mention the panic attacks or the 60-hour work weeks. The house tour doesn’t include the student loan payments that are still haunting their bank account.
I’m not saying these achievements aren’t real or meaningful—they absolutely are. But when we’re only seeing the highlight reel, we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes footage to everyone else’s carefully edited movie trailers.
Redefining What “On Time” Means
Everyone’s timeline is unique, and societal benchmarks for success aren’t one-size-fits-all. Some people meet their life partner at 22 and know immediately. Others don’t find that connection until they’re 45, and it’s exactly the right person at exactly the right time for them. Some people climb the corporate ladder straight out of college. Others take a winding path through three career changes, two countries, and a master’s degree they got at 35.
The novelist Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t publish her first Little House book until she was 65. Vera Wang entered the fashion industry at 40. Colonel Sanders was 62 when he founded KFC. Were they “behind”? Or were they exactly where they needed to be?
Your journey is allowed to look different. In fact, it’s supposed to.
The Beauty of Your Own Pace
There’s something liberating about realizing that you don’t have to keep up with anyone else’s schedule. When you stop trying to hit arbitrary milestones by arbitrary ages, you can actually focus on building a life that makes sense for you.
Maybe your version of success looks like traveling the world in your thirties instead of settling down. Maybe it’s starting a business at 40 after spending your twenties figuring out what you actually care about. Maybe it’s choosing not to follow the traditional path at all and creating something entirely your own.
Life isn’t a race. Everyone has a different timeline, and what looks like success for one person may not be the path you want to follow. The sooner we can internalize this truth, the sooner we can stop feeling like we’re constantly running late to our own lives.
Practical Ways to Get Unstuck from the Timeline Trap
Audit your inputs: Take a honest look at what you’re consuming. If your social media feeds are making you feel inadequate, it might be time for some strategic unfollowing. This isn’t about living in denial—it’s about creating space for your own voice in your head.
Celebrate your unique wins: That promotion you got, the relationship you ended because it wasn’t right, the move across the country that terrified you—these are your victories. They don’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.
Question the “shoulds”: Every time you catch yourself thinking “I should have…” or “I should be…”, ask yourself: says who? Is this actually important to you, or is it just something you think you’re supposed to want?
Embrace the plot twists: The most interesting stories aren’t the ones that follow a predictable timeline. They’re the ones with unexpected turns, character development, and moments that surprise even the author.
Your Life Isn’t Running Late
Here’s what I wish someone had told me during that Target cereal aisle existential crisis: You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re not failing to meet some universal standard of adult achievement.
You’re simply living your life at your own pace, in your own way, according to your own values and circumstances. And that’s not just okay—it’s exactly how it should be.
The next time you feel that familiar pang of “everyone else has it figured out,” remember that there is no “right” timeline. There’s only your timeline, and you’re exactly where you need to be on it.
Even if where you need to be happens to be the cereal aisle at Target, questioning your life choices over a box of Lucky Charms. Sometimes the best revelations come from the most unexpected places.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational and lifestyle purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Individual experiences and circumstances vary greatly. The perspectives shared here are based on research and personal reflection, not professional guidance. Always consider your unique situation when making life decisions.
Sources:
- BetterUp: Quarter-Life Crisis research
- Psychology Today: Comparison Culture insights
- The Knot: Societal Pressures and Life Milestones
- Girl Power Talk: Defying Age-Normative Timelines
